frustrated

I have to say i am becoming increasingly frustrated with the situation between me Daniel and his mother. it is really eating me up inside and everytime something is said no one seems to be backing me up. and everyone else seems to be blaming me for everything.

I have said things that she cant forget? Well im sorry but what about the things you say to me? do they matter to anyone? doesnt seem like it because once again this is a blood verses water situation.... because blood is thicker than water.. and im the water. i get this situation far to often. always the water never the blood so its easier to cast me out because what do i matter?  i try my hardest to include everyone in my life and i try my best to be honest with everyone. but every time i come out the "liar" not many people actually believe in me. half the time i may as well tell people what they need to hear and lie to them then tell them the truth because 99% of the time im not believed anyway.how hard is it to stick up for me? like say the god dam honest truth to someone? am i not worth it? because i dont feel worthy of such things.

"i'll be civil but it will never be the same"   nah you dont say??? who's the adult in this situation? you've been my aunty for a goot 14 years yet ive not ever felt anything but love. yet i still stress the love bit but its never going to be enough is it?

what about things she has said about me to me and to other  people about me? does that not count for anything? no it doesnt not to anyone. because its complete crap and im about ready to lose the plot.
you think there is something wrong with me now? well wait until i really blow my load then you will see that there is something wrong with me... I have clearly 100% had enough and its about time people started taking me for real and not as some kind of joke because im really not a joke. im a human being and i have feelings dam it. and i tell the truth.. 

anyone who doesnt take me seriously is going to get a rude shock. because this is my child as much as it is daniels. and this is going to be my wedding not anyone elses!

I'm so mad right now. so so so flaming mad i could seriously scream. this is crap..