can i wait?

So I have made a promise to not have sex before marriage. i saw janet today and had a very long conversation with her about whats right and wrong, my issues with going back on whats been done. and just my life issues in general.. i feel like i came out a better person, I have made that decision myself not to i feel a little like the decision is forced on me since u need to agreeing people to have sex. but i guess when u put it in context and think whats a few months with out compared to the rest of my life with it? seems like an easier option.. and just think what my life will be like? imagine my wedding night? and my honeymoon and every night after that for the next like 6 months? lol



i guess the good thing is that atleast i have tested the goods before hand and i know what to expect.. he just better not wait to long before asking me.

I guess the answers i went for today were answers that i want things to be ok if something was to happen. id rather be at peace with something rather than be hating each other the next day because i didnt stop u and u didnt stop me etc.

marriage is such a BIG thing its HUGE! i cant even begin to believe that after such a short time the conversation has even come up? now all i think about is planning! planning the wedding and what i'll wear who will come. where will it be? so many of my friends have gotten married and most of them had big weddings. fortunately (for daniel) i dont have BIG wedding dreams I would get married in a registry office if it meant i could be with him for ever..



no just simple. i even plan on making my own dress. because i couldnt think of anything worse walking into a bridal shop and trying on dresses that wouldnt even fit because they would be all small sizes.. plus my own dress would be more important. well to me anyway.

oh im still so confused and i hate it i know what i want i just want it now really. well not now. but i just want all the hard stuff to go away.. just be easy for once..

anyway my man is here i shall finish this tomorrow