over reaction

Ok so maybe ive over reacted... but its all in tthe moment when i write. i wrote daniel a 4 page letter today and i could have kept going if he hadnt rang me and changed my thought process! boys and the way they can do that it's not fair! LOL

Its still very raw in my head, i feel a little bit relieved and a little bit more reassured but its still not making sense. I dont understand why stopping it is going to do anyone any good? apart from the fact it doesnt count as "no sex b4 marriage" when u have already done it. i would think the sex thing is acceptable between two people who are commited to each other. what about those that never marry but commit their lives together?
I really dont get it, and maybe its just i dont like it because its such a step forward for me and i feel like ive put to rest some of my demons. and overcome my fear of sharing my body with someone i love. maybe this really is the first time ive felt totally in love! ive never felt this way before. The last time i feel like i really loved someone i was 16 and since when does being that young and in love really count? although i thank that person every day he changed me..
but anyway. I guess all good things come to those who wait right? well i think ive waited long enough. been hurt too many times now its my turn to have the good life.

i totally have lost my thoughts again! dam it. i was just getting into this.